sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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