i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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