I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
