foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
