You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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