See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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