I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
COCAINE IS GR8
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
