If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
