does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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