can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
