Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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