I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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