I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
