he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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