I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I touched a dick in church today
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