all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
