Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
