I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
