I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
