I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
