can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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