they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
