My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
