I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
