Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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