we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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