Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i believe in u and ur pee
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
