I think i peed on brittanys purse
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
ok first of all what the fuck
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
