Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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