god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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