I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
vagina is talking i cant
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
