Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
