I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
