Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
