it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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