I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
