Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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