where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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