Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
