I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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