he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
