You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
