Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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