it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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