We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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