He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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