before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
