The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
