Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
