you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
