things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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