I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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