we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
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my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
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It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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