So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
