Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
